The Line
by DiabloCat
Summary: There was always a fine line between order and chaos with Skinner and Mina. And Skinner just crossed that line...


DiabloCat: Hello to all who dare pass this way. The following is a rather crummy humour. Skinner's finally crossed the line...

Tom Sawyer strolled down the hallway to bed. It was late, because he and the rest of the League had been discussing their next course of action. It was now midnight. Skinner had retired to bed a short while before him, unable to pretend he cared about where they were off to any longer.

Tom yawned widely, and thought longingly of the bunk in his room. Just around the corner...

An ear-splitting screech of rage shattered the tranquil air. Tom's head snapped up and he looked wildly around, startled into alertness. There was an "Easy now! I can expla-" and the sound of something crashing to the floor and breaking. Another enraged howl followed that, and several thumps. A door crashed open somewhere, and footsteps fled the scene of the noise.

Tom was utterly bewildered. All of that had taken place around the corner, so he assumed it had been from one of the bedrooms. But what on Earth had happened?

He quickened his pace and walked into the hallway in which the bedrooms were attached. Mina Harker stood in the doorway of her bedroom, hair out and wild. There was a red glimmer in her eye that made Tom hesitate for a moment.

"Um...what happened?"

She turned her glare on him. "Nothing that concerns you," she snapped. "But if you see Skinner – tell me AT ONCE!"

Tom backed away slightly. He had never seen her this angry. He wondered if this was how she had been when she killed Dorian. "If I see Skinner, I'm to tell you. Sure, whatever. I'll – just be going to bed now." He decided not to point that it was technically impossible to see the invisible man. She looked like she was in a blood-sucking mood.

As Tom crawled into bed, he thought about all the things Skinner could possibly have done to get the vampire lady so livid. The 'gentleman' thief had once pinched her butt, and even then she had merely smacked him over the head. This time he doubted Skinner would get away with just a bruise.

Later on, Tom woke with the problem that assails all who sleep on cold wooden floors. A need to pee. He tossed back his covers with a groan, and stumbled out into the hallway.

Halfway back from the toilet, something careened into the half asleep American, throwing him backwards onto the floor. The something hit the floor next to him with an 'oof'.

Tom gazed around, but he couldn't see anyone - which could only mean one thing.

"Skinner? Is that you?"

"Shhh! Don't say me name so loud!" came the frantic whisper. "But I'm glad I found ya. You gotta save me."

"From what?"

"The crazy vampire lady, that's what!"

"What did you do to her?"

"I didn't do anything!"

"So why's she after your blood?"

Skinner winced. He wished Tom hadn't used those exact words. "It's kinda a long story. I'll tell it to you – if you help me."

"Help you?"

"Yeah! I mean, I know I'm invisible, but I can't stay hidden forever. And if I go anywhere near her..."

"She'll bite your throat out."

"Huh, you sure know the way to make a guy feel better," hissed Skinner sarcastically. "Why don't you describe it perfect detail, make me feel even safer? Listen, I need you to explain to Mina exactly what happened."

"So what did happen?"

The thief looked around nervously. "Not here. She might hear us, and come and investigate." He shuddered at the thought.

Tom sighed. "Fine, we'll go to my room. On one condition – you put something on."

"Uh, can I borrow a jacket then? Mina kinda...ripped mine up."

"Man, you really annoyed her, huh?"

"You have no idea."

Tom climbed to his feet, and Skinner presumably did so as well. They crept quietly back to his room, and the Agent closed the door, to foil any eavesdroppers.

"Jackets over there," Tom said, pointing to the clothing that was draped over the back of his chair. He watched, mildly fascinated, as the jacket seemingly lifted itself up from the chair, and wrapped itself around an unseen object. Skinner, now slightly visible, turned to the American.

"I suppose you want to know what I did."

Tom nodded. "I've never seen her that angry. It must have been really...well – bad!"

The gentleman thief sighed. "Well, it wasn't so much one big thing, more like a whole bunch of little things. Let's put it like this – I've done enough small irritations to make a nice little pile of gunpowder. Then – it was an accident, I swear – I did something that set the gunpowder off."

"And what was it?"

There was another sigh. "Well, you know how I can't stand long talks and all. Bore me senseless. Plus I hadn't slept well the night before – I was dead tired. Dead on my feet. I decided if I didn't leave, I'd topple over sideways, which Nemo wouldn't have approved of." Here, Tom could have sworn he grinned. "So I left – meaning to go back to my room. Sadly, my sleep-muddled brain lead me to the wrong room."

Tom was starting to get an idea of what had happened. "Mina's room."

"Yup. Thought it looked a bit weird, but I didn't catch on, even when I pulled open a drawer and found a pair of ladies panties. I lifted them up, wondering what they were doing in my room. Which was when Mina decided to walk in."

The American winced. "Ouch."

"That about sums it up. The match hit the gunpowder. She went berserk. I finally worked out what was going on, but she wasn't in any mood to listen. So, after getting thrown around for a bit, I made it to the door and a not-so-graceful escape."

"And...you want ME...to go tell an enraged VAMPIRE that it was all a mistake?" Tom said slowly.

"Uh, well, yeah. Something like that."

"Are you INSANE?"

"Tom," pleaded Skinner. "She's gonna KILL me if someone doesn't tell her the truth."

"Why would she treat me any differently?"

"Well, for one thing, you haven't been found holding her undies. For another, she thinks you're sweet, right? Stupid, but sweet..."

"Skinner! I'm sticking my neck out the line here!"

The gentleman thief winced again. "Could you watch your choice of words?"

"Sorry." Tom sighed. He sort of owed Skinner, seeing as the invisible man had once saved his life. "Alright, I'll do it."

"Yes," whooped Skinner, then looked around hastily to see if Mina had heard. "You're a great pal Sawyer. I'll be hiding out in the library if ya want me."

Tom watched mournfully as Skinner shed the jacket and slipped out the door again. "Yeah, great pal. Ugh. I'm doomed."

The next morning, Skinner was lounging in a corner of the library, waiting for Tom's news. He kept his eyes peeled for any sign of either the American or the vampire. He kept his ears cocked for any sound that might let him know whether he was forgiven, or going to die.

Even with all his senses of full alert, Skinner missed the actual confrontation. Not to say it wasn't noisy, no. He just didn't hear it.

The first he knew of Tom's discussion with Mina was the sight of the Agent sprinting through the doors of the library with a frantic look on his face.

"Skinner!" hissed Tom.

"What? What's the matter? How'd it go?"

"Oh God. You have no idea. You gotta hide me. Quick!"

Skinner groaned. "No good, huh?"

"SAWYER! SKINNER! YOU GET UP HERE NOW!"

"Not good," agreed Tom.

Skinner sighed. "Well, let's move before she works out where we are."

"Where to?"

"Where I was hiding before. Somewhere she won't look."

"And that's...?"

"Garbage section."

Tom's shoulders slumped. "Brilliant. Last time I help you."

"Hey, it's not that bad. She might forgive us. Just give her a few months."

"A few months! I can't last that long!"

A furious scream sounded out from the upper deck.

"Check that. I'll live. Let's go."

So, warily, creeping along as quietly as possible, the two fugitives made their way to their future home.

THE END


End file.
